1. Start by placing the dried lavender buds in a small bowl and pour the warm milk or cream over them. Let this steep for about 15 minutes, allowing the lavender to infuse the cream with its delicate aroma. This step is crucial—it’s where the magic begins.
2. While the lavender steeps, cream the softened butter in a large bowl using a hand mixer or stand mixer fitted with a paddle attachment. Beat on medium speed for about 3-4 minutes until the butter is pale, fluffy, and smooth. This is one of those moments where patience pays off—a light base makes all the difference.
3. Strain the lavender-infused milk through a fine mesh sieve to remove the buds, pressing gently to extract every drop of flavor.
4. Gradually add the sifted powdered sugar to the creamed butter, about 1 cup at a time, mixing on low speed to avoid a powdered sugar cloud. Once combined, increase to medium speed and beat well until the mixture is smooth and creamy.
5. Slowly pour in the lavender-infused milk, vanilla extract, salt, and optional lemon juice or zest. Beat on medium-high speed for another 3-5 minutes until the frosting is light and fluffy. At this stage, taste and adjust if you want a stronger lavender flavor or a bit more sweetness.
6. If the frosting feels too stiff, add a teaspoon of milk at a time to reach your desired consistency. Conversely, if it’s too soft, add a little more powdered sugar.
7. Use immediately to frost cupcakes, cakes, or cookies. If you need to store it, cover tightly and refrigerate.

I always think of these steps as a gentle dance—each movement deliberate, like when Mama Lou taught me to fold batter or when Ouma and I carefully piped frosting on our first cakes. Take your time, and enjoy the process as much as the result.